I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
