We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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