life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize