Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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