I hate all girls vehemently.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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