i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
