Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
