i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
NoShamevember. You game?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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