can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
