i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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