pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
