Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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