Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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