Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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