last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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