She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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