i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
birth control should be required to get into college
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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