I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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