these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
40s are totally the cure
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
