All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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