You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
