I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize