don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need to sanitize my soul.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
