fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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