Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
