They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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