We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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