forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
