enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
