What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
