benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
