I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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