I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
