I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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