Me. At least after what I've been through.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
