Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
