finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
