If i come over, it means nothing
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
