Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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