Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
