I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
