Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
