I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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