I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
