He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
