I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
