the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My vagina is officially offended.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
