He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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