even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
