you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
