when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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