How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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