it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
