Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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