idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
