I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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