she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
