Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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