Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
