idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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