I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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