You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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