Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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